Mustafa Zaidi – A poet remembered
Why would a poet of Mustafa Zaidi’s stature decide to end his life?
Thirty five years ago, Mustafa Zaidi, a poet of notable standing and a dismissed CSP officer, was found dead in Karachi’s Hotel Sumar. The mystery of his death remains unresolved to date but there is an informal consensus that he committed suicide. He was only 40-years old and had produced several outstanding, original collections of poetry. He had also tasted and fallen victim to intimacy with the state. He was married to a woman of German descent and had two children; yet his final companion was not a member of his family but Shehnaz, the last love of his life. That October day in 1970, Shehnaz was found unconscious along with Mustafa Zaidi’s dead body. His last five poems were a series titled ‘Shehnaz’; and it is through these powerful poems that we know of the woman who was immortalised by Zaidi.
As is often the case, Zaidi started off writing in Allahabad under the pseudonym Tegh Illahbadi. His first volume was published when he was in his teens. He was a disciple of another maestro, Josh Malihabadi, and was well-known by the time he migrated to Pakistan after the partition of India. The later trajectory is also familiar: advanced studies in English literature, a brief period spent teaching and entering the civil service of Pakistan through the competitive examination. However, his poetic side thrived through the various phases and he was published regularly to mixed acclaim.
Inappropriate as it may sound, I have always been fascinated by Zaidi’s death, particularly by his apparent decision to end himself. Perhaps a sub-conscious death wish in me finds this such an alluring case. In real terms, Pakistan lost a fine civil servant and an unsung poet whose stature could be belittled only by a society as dysfunctional as ours. I have followed his path: in Dera Ghazi Khan, where he served as the sub-divisional magistrate; in the medieval resort of Fort Munroe, where he spent his summer, working away and composing verse; and all the places in the inimitable Murree hills. I have had a chance to stay in proximity of where he lived in Murree. For years, I have studied him in order to appreciate the intricacies of his inner universe. Would I be melodramatic in proclaiming that during this Zaidi trail, I have heard the echoes of his anguish, observed flashes of his infinite genius and traces of his apparent hedonism?
Wherever I have been, culturally endowed locals ascribe the following couplet to the houses in which he lived:
Traverse these stones, if you can, to reach me
The path to my house is not studded by a galaxy.
His last collection of verse, Koh-e-Nida (The beckoning mountain) contains a chilling chronicle of a death foretold. Koh-i-Nida is a splendid image borrowed from the Arabian tale of Hatim Tai, concerning a mountain that calls people in and consumes them. How very pertinent for a life such as Zaidi’s that was annihilated by its very intensity. Published in 1970, the book’s foreword is titled: ‘The last word’ and declares that this is the last collection of his verse. For a sensitive poet of Zaidi’s ability, giving up poetry was tantamount to giving up life. If I were to paraphrase the critical stream of consciousness from this piece, it would read as follows:
I shall not write anymore: I have lost the spirit of enquiry over the last few years and my surroundings and circumstances have killed my desire to augment knowledge. In a country where I am considered educated, most people I have come across are devoid even of my ignorance. The kind of poetry that will be appreciated here, I am unfit to write.
Recognition: Is essential for a poet’s soul and I have not achieved even a modicum of what I deserved. If for decades I have not been able to achieve that, why should I write more? I have often composed better verse than many poets whom the critics notice. I was shocked to see an anthology compiled by Wazir Agha that contained the names of lesser poets, but did not find a place for my name. I was heart-broken.
On being a misfit: In all circles, I am out of place. The civil servants consider me an object of entertainment in their drawing rooms and I suspect the poets find me useful. In my society where no ideology is accepted other than in its stultified vision, who am I to complain? Here, great minds such as Josh Malihabadi have been trampled by the state and society. What is the value of my anguish? Therefore, when society does not accept an individual and the individual refuses to conform to society, then composing verse is the most useless of activities. A poet has to be an organic part of the society, not a disconnected irrelevance.
And: In particular where the religious ideology of a country can easily kill you, what is the solution other than suicide, escape? If neither of these, keeping yourself prepared to be slaughtered by knives of the butchers.
Limited appreciation: Throughout the world, I have been taking photographs and the state has not even bothered to provide me with even a little physical space to continue my interests. I have a passion for flying and obtained my private pilot’s license after much ado. In a crash landing, I could not prevent a small aircraft that I was fond of like my children from being damaged. I am so traumatised by this event that even the flying club management cannot appreciate the depth of this sorrow.
Harassment: On April 24, 1969, when I was living in a bachelor’s hostel with my family, a subordinate brought thousands of rupees to me as a bribe. The following day, when I complained in writing to the chief secretary of the province, I was harassed for months and tortured to the extent that it was beyond the endurance of any normal human being. What was my fault? I had refused a bribe but my subordinate was enmeshed in the corridors of power and he ensured that my life was a living tale of misery.
Zaidi’s dramatic soliloquy is self-explanatory and a microcosm of the larger existential woe of Pakistani society. It encompasses the dying values of inquiry, creativity and integrity, and bemoans the limited space for individual passions and interests. Notably, it also mentions religious bigotry and the lack of space for individual liberties, even in the pre-Islamised Pakistan of late 60s. Small wonder, then, that Zaidi uttered forebodingly:
On whose hands shall I find stains of my blood
The whole city is gloved in anonymity.
Yahya Khan’s famous list of 303 summarily dismissed civil servants included the name of Mustafa Zaidi, who above all, suffered the biggest stigma of non-conformity. Zaidi was a wanderer, a bit of a philanderer and outspoken in his poetic expression. He never refrained from a candid assertion of sexual desire and experience, or from expressing his artistic contempt of all that surrounded him. As a classic misfit, he also had something in him reminiscent of Lord Byron, albeit in a different context.
‘Aesthetics is a fire not aware of its in-flammability’, said Zaidi, and continued to ignite the flames of his creativity until these consumed him. His poetry is diverse: from troubled relationships with women to a poetic critique on the unjust functioning of the United Nations; a dialogue with Polonius (from Shakespeare’s Hamlet ) and on the country of his choice Pakistan. In Musafir (Traveller), written before his death, he addresses his homeland after a long sojourn abroad:
There is nothing that I carry from my homeland
Merely a dream and the fortifications of a dream
Accept the gift of my soiled shirt
For its dirt carries the dust from the mosques
This apparel cannot be washed for it enfolds
The splashes of Biafra’s sacred blood
This is the soil from Vietnam and its grains contain
The radiant brows of the prophets.
(translation by author)
His troubled soul had predicted the pattern of emigration:
“I hope you may not end up desolate
Anarchy may not replace the law
Oh my country, so many of your citizens
Are left with no choice but migrate.
By late 1970, Shehnaz, his true declared love, was moving away from him. The five Shehnaz poems document in effect the evolution and climax of his passion, the decline and fall of their relationship and his underlying disappointment with life. The early Shehnaz poems profess:
She was not an artist herself, but shared my art
She shared the body in the journey of the spirit
Whose modesty had been revealed page by page
She accompanied me in every crease of the bed
In one way, I was a fire-worshipper
She experienced every angle of the garden.
And the last poem in the Shehnaz quintet complains:
The way you insist on separation now
Even my vows of love did not have such intensity
This new found comfort in our shared unfaithfulness
Eludes the heart’s life-blood and the blossoming colour of henna.
(translations by author)
Is it not a sorry tale of forgetfulness that no authoritative work has been produced on Zaidi and perhaps the first PhD on his works was undertaken abroad? He complained bitterly about Pakistan not acknowledging his worth. Have things changed in all these years? He has surely been printed and read much more after his death but has not gained the attention that his original and diverse poetry deserves. Zaidi had an almost romantic craving for recognition and never concealed it. It is tragic that his competence as a civil servant has been forgotten by ruthless power-mongers and his poetry has not been given its due by aficionados of Urdu literature. Even today, he remains on the wrong side of the literary establishment and his poetry has been reduced to the sexual explicitness of some of the poems. Zaidi was never a sentimental poet and he knew it. This is why he complained that he could not write the poetry defined as right by the critics. However, as Josh said at Zaidi’s memorial, he was the greatest poet of the future and aficionados can do little to undermine his creative genius.
Unfortunately, the reasons why Zaidi finished his existence remain valid even today; some would argue, in fact, that conditions have become worse. He yearned for artistic freedom, the actualisation of self-worth and esteem and he felt stifled. His fears of growing bigotry were not unfounded, as was witnessed in the decade after his death. Unlike many medieval and modern masters of Urdu poetry, Zaidi was politically active and international in his perspective. He felt that there was no place for him in Pakistani society perhaps we never do have any room for deviants!
Zaidi was punished for his dreams but they exist beyond him, continuing to haunt us yet often eluding our contemporary consciousness. We owe his tortured soul a lot; not the least of which is remembering why he decided to die.
Zaidi was starved for love and artistic freedom; and punished for his dreams. His dreams still fill our contemporary consciousness, reminding us each day of all that we have lost as a nation.
More comments here
All My Posts, Arts & Culture, Poetry, Published in The Friday Times, Urdu
Many thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. I was told about your work last year but the person had no reference. And thanks to google I came across your piece in Urdu Studies. Your passion for Urdu poetry and incisiveness is impressive.
I tried to send you an email but it does not work.
Please do let me know how can one access your thesis. has it been published?
warm regards
Raza
Dear Raza,
Thank you for this remarkable piece about Mustafa Zaidi. I am also obsessed with Mustafa Zaidi’s mysterous death, and I am planning to write a novel on his last days. I would like to meet you in order to get more impressions from you, where can I contact you ?
Thank you again,
Qamar
I wonder what happened to this Shehnaz character?
I found this on the net:
Girlfriend charged with murder
Shehnaz is under arrest for the murder of poet Mustafa Zaidi. She is also implicated in a smuggling scandal, and accused of conducting affairs with several high ranking officials and industrial magnets, in order to carry out espionage for foreign agencies.
Source: http://pakistanspace.tripod.com/70.htm
Smuggling, Espionage??? strange.
[...] Veera Lodge -Mustafa Zaidi in Chakwal To take full advantage of Flickr, you should use a JavaScript-enabled browser and install the latest version of the Macromedia Flash Player. F.decorate(_ge(‘button_bar’), F._photo_button_bar).bar_go_go_go(2543974235, 0); F.decorate(_ge(‘photo_notes’), F._photo_notes).notes_go_go_go(2543974235, ‘http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2157/2543974235_3f62c08d00_t.jpg', ’3.1444′); View Jahane Rumi’s map Taken in a place with no name (See more photos or videos here) A very dear friend has undertaken the momentous task of restoring the Veera Lodge, a building that was dedicated to Veera, the wife of the eminent Urdu poet Mustafa Zaidi who died at a young age. My friend has been kind enough to quote me on the plaque erected there; and he sent me this lovely photograph. My article on Mustafa Zaidi: "Thirty five years ago, Mustafa Zaidi, a poet of notable standing and a dismissed CSP officer, was found dead in Karachi’s Hotel Sumar. The mystery of his death remains unresolved to date but there is an informal consensus that he committed suicide. He was only 50-years old and had produced several outstanding, original collections of poetry." formore click the link below http://www.razarumi.com/2006/07/25/mustafa-zaidi-a-poet-remembered/ [...]
[...] … pakistaniat.com/2006/12/09/mustafa-zaidi-poet/ • Found on Google, Yahoo! Search Mustafa Zaidi – A poet remembered Why would a poet of Mustafa Zaidiâ s stature decide to end his life? Thirty five years ago, [...]
Raza Rumi–
Hello! I am the person who wrote the dissertation on Mustafa Zaidi–and translated a number of his poems in the process. It was done at the University of Chicago. I liked your long piece on him. My email is laurelsteele@hotmail.com–and no, the dissertation is not as yet published–but I really think it should be–it was written in a relatively non-academic style, so as to make it accessible to any educated reader. All the best–and I enjoy your columns! Laurel
I have crossed land mark of fifty and still a student of law and human sciences, wonder how many genius personalities we have lost, which are still our nations pride and if they had lived longer, how many master pieces they would have given to us.
Apart from Mustafa Zaidi who was forced to leave at the age of 39 years, how many more classic ghazals and poems he would have created, just think the pain he had suffered as soft-hearted person, his juniors, sub-ordinates has mal-treated , humiliated and disobeyed his orders, which for others CSP officers, one would not dare to do, but he was man or some other world, his seniors did not like and he face the punishment as symbol, one who will not be a part of this corrupt system has to pay the cost. I remember incident when he was posted as DC and there were students protesting and duty SDM asked his permission to order fire on the students and he then said, “these students are our future, how can order to kill our future” , and some time passed and SDM again request the permission to open fire on students and he relied, these are our children, how one can give permission to shoot our children” and man of this nature, softness can never suicide, he was eliminated and one woman was placed near his dead body in unconscious condition and police came and interrogate, there were stories made.
At this point I need to recall one more name, Jenab Rais Amroohi, the genius of his time, who was also murdered by the agencies as he was considered as one of the master minds who created MQM.
Thank you for this,
for me he was even that i never saw him the best man in World.
He must be a wonderfull Person.
I am realy sorry that i couldnt make it to see this man because he did 11 Years before i was born,
but still i am a fan.
[...] produced several outstanding, original collections of poetry." formore click the link below http://www.razarumi.com/2006/07/25/mustafa-zaidi-a-poet-remembered/ To take full advantage of Flickr, you should use a JavaScript-enabled browser and install [...]
[...] External links Mustafa Zaidi Remembered Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia © 2001-2006 Wikipedia contributors [...]
What I absolutely fail to understand is the general acceptance that Mustafa Zaidi had committed suicide.The facts of the case, as I remember them,were much different.He was drugged alright but the first thing that was done after the door was broken open was that the policemen washed the coffee mugs .Then Shahnaz Gul’s husband was handed over the purse that she had been carrying.Had it been a simple case of suicide,as this article implies,then it would not have been necessary to exhume Mustafa Zaidi’s body from the grave.How many cases of murder are ever solved in Pakistan,anyways?
Mustafa Zaidi had not known Shahnaz Gul for such a long time.The fact of the matter is that Mustafa Zaidi had sent his family to Germany after he had been dismissed from the civil service amongst the 303 and was keen to join them there from where they were all planning to migrate to Canada.He was immensely fond of his family and wrote to them constantly.He was not getting permission to leave the country which was frustrating for him and he must have threatened the powerful people of some kind of dis-closure because he was privy to such information.Thus the services of Shahnaz Gul were sought in order to get rid of him.She was certainly a breathtakingly beautiful woman and he was successfully enticed.
Is it not strange that Shahnaz Gul’s husband never left her even after such a widely publicized case? The boxes of documents kept in his garage were found ran-sacked.It was supposed to be a suicide pact,but the lady survived?The coffee mugs containing the drug were washed/ Shahnaz Gul’s purse was removed by her husband because she was herself unconscious and could not do it herself? There were signs of violence on Mustafa Zaidi’s body and it appeared that he had been suffocated by a pillow after having been drugged with the coffee……and yet it is easily assumed that he committed suicide.This make the whole story more romantic but is really a theory and should not nbe stated as a fact!!!
[...] on Insider’s Indonesiaaleesha farhan on Iqbal Hussain – Lahore…Mustafa Zaidi … on Mustafa Zaidi – A poet r…MD. SHAH-E- ALAM GUL… on Shah [...]
Josh Malihabadi’s elegy on Mustafa Zaidi’s death:
“Mai khana-e-ishrat se nikala mujh ko
Sat ta beh qadam dard men dhala mujh ko
Jis maut ne gul kiya hai Zaidi ka chiragh
Us maut ne Josh mar dala mujh ko ”
Translated by Laurel Steele:
Thrown out of the wine shop of pleasure
I was cast (moulded) head to foot in sorow
The death that has extinguished the lamp of Zaidi
That death has killed me too,Josh.
‘Dur ki Awaaz’—a poem by Mustafa Zaidi ;
Meray mehboob des k galiyoo
Tum ko aur apnaay dostoon ko salaam
Apnay zakhmi shabab ko tasleem
Apnay bachpan ke qahqahon ko salaam
Umr bhar key liye tumharey paas
reh gaiey hai shuguftagi meri
Aakhri raat ke udaas diyoo
yaad hai tum ko bebasi meri
yaad hai tum ko jab bhulai thhey
Unr bhar ke keiye huway waadey
rasm o mazhab ki ek pujaran ne
eik chhandi ke devta ke lieye
jaaney is kaargahe hast mein
Uss ko woh devta mila ke nahin
Meri kalyon ka khoon pi kar bhi
Uss ka apna kanwal khila ke nahin
Aaj kal uskay apnay daman mein
Piyar ke geet hein ke paisey hain
Tum ko maloom ho to batlana
Uss ke aanchal ke rang kaise hain
Mujhh ko awaaz do ke subha ki oas
kiya mujhhey abb bhi yaad kart hai
meri ghar ki udaas chokhhat par
Kiya kabhhi chandni utarti hai?
English translation by Laurel Steele:
THE VOICE FROM AFAR:
Oh lanes of my beloved country
Salaam to you and our friends
Greetings to our wounded youth
Salaam to the laughter of our childhood
My blossoming flower has
Remained with you for a lifetime
Oh God the sorrow of the last night
you remember my poerlessness
You remember when I was made to forget
The promises made for a ifetime
A devotee of custom and religion
For the sake of a silver God
Who knows in the factory of existence
If she was able to find that idol or not
Even after drinking the blood of my blossoms
Did her lotus open or not
And today in the folds of her clothes
Are there the songs of love or of money
If you know then please explain
What are the colours of her veil
Call me because I want to know
Does the morning dew remember me
On the sad doorstep of my home
does the moonlight ever fall?
please consider the following facts :
1)Mustafa Zaidi’s letter dated 8th October,1970 (four days before his death) to his wife Vera Zaidi,who had taken his two childen to Germany:
“My dear Vera,
At this moment,I am not thinking of anyone but you and the game destiny is playing with our lives…….How long is this going to be stretched? Both you and I are helpless……Apparently,they are playing for time,because every time their answer is evasive and new (NOTE: he was trying to obtain permission to leave the country to join his family in Germany)…..I never thought there was so much callousness in the world.I have been wayy from you and my children for 6 months.I have lived a life of misery,ignominy and harasment,and now I am being penalized for not having accepted money from a Brigadier’s brother.
Please try to take it calmly.If you can do anything about it,so much better.If not,please endure the suffering also.Let’s not allow ourselves to be destroyed.Perhaps,when children have vacations,you three can come here for a while….”
2)Mustafa Zaidi’s nephew Shahid Raza was one of the last persons to see Mustafa Zaidi alive on Monday,October12th,1970.He remembers that Zaidi had not seemed any more or less distubed than usual that day.Also, Mustafa Zaidi helped his chowkidar Mohammad Iqbal to wash his car (Note : Very unusual behaviour for someone who is contemplating suicide!)
3)In a news item dated March 20th,1971,The newspaper ‘DAWN’ reported as below under the heading ‘Evidence of Zaidi’s nephew recorder’:
“Mr.Shahid Raza said that there were signs of struggle having taken place in the room in which his uncle’s body was discovered last October 12.He was testifying in the Court of the District Magistrate,Mr.Kunwar Idris,in the committal trial of Mrs.Shahnaz Saleem.wife of Mr.Saleem Khan,who is charged with the murder of Mr.Zaidi.
Mr.Raza deposed that he entered the residence of his late uncle on the morning if Tuesday,October 13,after learning of the latter’s death…..He saw that it (the body) was lying on the bed.The telephone receiver was off the hook and was dangling on the other side of the body,with the cord stretched across the body.
Caked blood could be seen just below the nostrils and there were other blood stains on the bed-sheets and the pillows.The sheets were scattered about the room,and some other articles,such as a settee had also been over-turned.Nepthelene balls were scattered on and beneath the body.
Question :While I often come across the conjecture that Mustafa Zaidi had committed suicide (and certainly it is the more ‘romantic’ version),I find this version hard to believe ,because;
a) Does a man wash his car just before killing himself?
b) There were reported suicide attempts when he was young but none were successful because he always made sure that he informed someone who could ‘save’ him in time. They were,perhaps, more attention seeking attempts than serious suicide attempts.
c)While the letters Zaidi wrote to his family right before his death seem to be written by someone who was very upset,they do not seem to be written by someone who was suicidal.He was actively working on getting to Germany.He had sent his nephew,Shahid Raza,the same day on a task to find about the location of the Pakistan Consulate in Germany.
“Mustafa Zaidi came into the world of letters asTegh Allahbadi and exitted after a terrible accident.In his last collection,some idea of his stature is already apparent.He had started to count among the few great poets.
In his early poetry,there is the very clear influence of the progressive writers.it can be said that as long as he wrote with the nom d plume of ‘Tegh Allahabadi’,the influence of the progressive writers was very clear.When he made the transition from ‘Tegh Allahabadi’ to ‘Mustaf Zaidi’,he made both a personal and poetic transition.
From an ideological point of view,he remained progressive,but these ideologies bacame an under-current.The scope of his poetry expanded.subjects became more intense and his nazmz and ghazals bacame much subtler and more beautiful than before.
Mustafa Zaidi created a great beauty and balance in some ghazals and,in particular,poems written in foreign countries are a beautiful and happy addition to the Urdu canon-poetic thought is the root of these poems.Mustafa Zaidi’s education and erudition was huge and glimpses of it can be seen in his poetry.
He was a true addition to Urdu poetry.What were the circumstances of his death? Was it suicide or murder? Whose hand was behind his death? This is not our problem.We can only say that his death was terrible and he was one of the few good Urdu poets.Because of his death, a vacuum has been created in Urdu poetry which will be hard to fill.”
Ibne-e-Insha (extract from ‘Mahnama-e-Kitab, Lahore).
(translated by Laurel Steele)